Friendships (Opposite Genders & Women)

Hey everybody! This next topic was requested and I think this is a very important subject. Friendships between men & women and also why it's challenging finding new female friends.

First and foremost I want to say if you think men & women can't legit be friends (nothing more, nothing less) than you watch too much TV. I have a male best friend of 3 years and I love that nigga like my own flesh and blood. I've attached a picture of us when we went to California. That's my fav scrub (lol)! Before him I always use to think "I'm never going to get a male friend that isn't trying to secretly or outright have sex with me" and then

he came along and told me "you must not know me" lol we've been friends ever since! It's funny how we met (ask him, he tells the story better) but nonetheless we have never seen each other in any way other than friends. We have never had sexual relations in any form (i.e.) we are JUST friends! I can honestly say that there are extreme benefits of having a go-to male friend to talk about your problems to.

Men & women see the world differently. We we're made to coexist and one cannot live without the other. Me being myself, I never really had too many males I could run to to talk about my life, my problems, relationships, etc. My best friend has been that person since I've met him. We talk about our dreams, conspiracies, money moves, and everything. He helps me see the other side of the scope because as a woman I can NEVER be a man. I will never know how they think, why they address situations the way they do, why they're so immature (I had to add that part lol), etc. He is that voice for me and vice

versa. Humans need a balance. Men & women simultaneously provide each other with things that we lack as opposites. A genuine relationship between men and women are necessary. Now I know there are fake best friends and fake siblings out here that give us a bad rep. But I encourage everyone to build a non-sexual relationship with the opposite gender. It is possible and necessary!

Now, for how it's so hard to make female friends for females. I think the number one reason it is so hard for females to become friends is because we are raised to be in competition with the next woman. We are automatically taught that "they'll always be a girl out here that's going to hate on you for no reason." But why is that? Why do we spend our time comparing Beyoncé & Rihanna? Keri Hilson or Kelly Rowland? Thick or skinny? Dark skin or light skin? Real bodies or fake ones? Tall or fun sized? Let me ask you this, other than in a joking manner what man do you hear comparing himself to another man saying he's better? Exactly, men are brought up not having to worry so much about the next man. He is taught to be the best HIM in skill & in life. I once did a presentation in sociology on "The Beauty Myth." We spend more time worrying about how women look than any other quality. Everything else falls second to appearance and is a plus.

Women are born into competition with each other and unless a women understands that she doesn't have to compete with her sister to be beautiful, smart and successful too, we will continue this toxic cycle of hate. We must learn that we can all win. Me appreciating your hustle is not compromising my own. As women we must learn to embrace each other. I understand you and I encourage you to understand each other. It's only then that we can have more girl trips, girl talks, sleepovers, keeping our men focused and helping each other's children become whole. It's not hard to make girl friends, it's hard getting a women to see another women is not here to harm or hurt you. We need to teach more love and protection on our women and cast away hate & profiling. People always ask me why I'm so for women (like it's not obvious lol). There is no life without women. God made no more beautiful being than a woman. Women are selfless, powerful, and loving. We are the detail to a mans bigger picture. The essence of joy. We need each other.

“Girls get competitive, as though there’s only one spot in the world for everything — but that’s not true. We need to stick together and see there’s more to life than pleasing men. It’s

important not to cut yourself off from female friendships. I think sometimes girls get scared of other girls, but you need each other.”

-Zooey Deschanel

"The idea of 'common oppression' was a false and corrupt platform disguising and mystifying the true nature of women's varied and complex social reality. Women are divided by sexist attitudes, racism, class privilege, and a host of other prejudices. Sustained woman bonding can occur only when these divisions are confronted and the necessary steps are taken to eliminate them."

-Bell Hooks

Love your sister! Show interest in her hustle. Build her up. Go out and brunch. Don't tell her she's dramatic. Help her out. Lift her up. Don't assume she's hating on you. Call her beautiful. Be her sister!