Forgiving the People Who Hurt You

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."

-Mahatma Gandhi

Growing up I was told to forgive but was never told why forgiveness was so important. All I could think was "this person hurt me, why would I forgive them for that?" Then I was told that forgiveness isn't for the other person it is for me. Imagine how confused I was! I'm pretty sure a lot of you were just as confused as me if you ever heard that phrase at a younger age, maybe even now. Finally I understand that forgiveness means that you no longer allow that person to have control over your emotions. Forgiveness is necessary in order to move on. That pertains to any situation and any person. It is IMPOSSIBLE to move forward with life if you continue to worry and associate yourself with the past.

Forgive because you no longer want that person, action or statement running through your mind anymore. You no longer want to feel those emotions of hatred, sadness, or grief. Certain things can be hard to get over and I understand that. It's no telling how long the process will take but depending on the situation and where you are mentally you can either expedite the process or be stuck in that situation for years. I have been hurt many times in life, just like everyone else, but I will always choose to forgive. Why? Because I know in my heart that nobody understands things how I do, communicates like me, reciprocates information like I do, etc. I also know that nothing negative from the past deserves my time or attention. People are going to be themselves whether I like it or not... point blank PERIOD! I use to spend so much time worrying about why people say what they do, do what they've done, talk to me in the manner they do, don't talk to me when I want them to, not reciprocate my love, hurt my feelings and everything else they did. Understand that people are going to do them regardless. That's whether you lay around crying about it or lash out in anger. Accept it for what it is, forgive them, and move on. I try only to question what I needed to learn from those situations and not why it happened to me.

"Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different."

-Oprah Winfrey

Now, when I say "forgiveness" I mean it in the most sincere way. You cannot say "I forgive you" about something and continue to bring up the same issue or situation. Temporary forgiveness is not forgiveness at all. You learned nothing and you will continue to get all rallied up about that condition if you allow yourself to. Think about something that angers you. It could be small or large. Ask yourself if you ever get tired of being angry about it. If so, you have to forgive in order to finally get over it. We are getting older and certain situations shouldn't get a response out of us anymore. Forgive that person even if they do not deserve it because you deserve to be happy and healthy in this lifetime. Forgiveness is for YOU.

"An eye for an eye, and the whole world would be blind."

-Kahlil Gibran

Often times we mistake what forgiveness is. Just because I forgave you for doing me wrong doesn't mean I have to ever speak to you again. I don't have to follow you on social media, go out with you, hit your phone or anything of that nature. I have a handful of people that I have forgiven but have not uttered a word to in years. Trust me, I wish you the best. But you no longer fit into the life I'm trying to create for myself. I am not telling you to cut off every person who has done you wrong! We are human and we make mistakes. I am telling you that if something sacrifices your happiness and peace of mind it is okay to let them go. Do not be bitter! There is nothing more sad than a bitter person. Bitter people think the world owes them something, they will hurt everyone around them, they will not reach their full potential in life and they will NEVER be happy. This life is full of disappointments but it is also equally rewarding. Forgive because you know how it feels to mess up. Forgive so you can get the best experience that this life has to offer. People will hurt you, that is a fact. But just like I said in a previous blog "you only know what love is because you have felt pain."

"Always forgive, but never forget, else you will be a prisoner of your own hatred, and doomed to repeat your mistakes forever."

-Wil Zeus